2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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