Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize