just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
