Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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