I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
