end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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