WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
