just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
