quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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