I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
