you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
