Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
