She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
