First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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