if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
