Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
