My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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