sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
