He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
