I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
