go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
