So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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