Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
