I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
