bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize