i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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