conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
