what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
