We won't sleep together?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
