Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
