bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
