we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
