I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
