The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize