Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
