Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
did i just pee glitter
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
