she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
