so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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