Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize