I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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