We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
