Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
