Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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