FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
