Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
