Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize