He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
