no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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