In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
