Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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