I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
