Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's always time for handjobs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize