she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
