She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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