i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
