Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
