I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
